Friday, 30 May 2014

a one hundred and thirteenth story...'norman's third love letter'

Darling Rosalind:

My all, my everything, my wet and windy world, my solar system – how are you?

A week has passed, and O! What a long seven days!  I can imagine only the Lord himself hath spent a longer and more arduous time (I am referring to His supposed creation of the universe, including Adam and Eve etcetera). 

Seven days in which I had hoped like a poor fool at some point you would call, or reply to my letters.  Alas, I remain a stranger on the shore (wandering to the aching tune of a saxophone).

Are you really too busy to be in touch?  I suppose you must be, otherwise I know you would have sent me an effervescent reply to at least one of the aforementioned missives.

No word from the publishers (yet), but I have finished the manuscript you’ll be encouraged to know.  Sadly, and perhaps in relief of how I am feeling just now (with mushy pen about to inscribe the agony that would otherwise issue forth from the fleshy, bloody wound of my mouth), I decided to kill off both characters (the man and woman in love) in a car crash on the French Riviera – it was their honeymoon no less!

Woe, woe and more woe: there’s too much of it, Rosalind.  And people forget it takes strength to be gentle and kind.  Either that or they don’t have any strength in the first instance, or an inkling of kindness. 

Remember the last occasion we were together?  Was I not as kind and gentle as a nun or a nurse? (Or a priest?).

You know, I wanted to tell you then that I loved you, I wanted to share my devout and heartfelt feelings for you, Rosalind. And only for you!  Naturally, I could not find the right inspiration, so I write, and write you (and roam, and wait).

I like touching you, Rosalind, when you are with me: a woman’s flesh is soft and forgiving, whereas mine is vile and reptilian (I had a pet crocodile when I was a boy, you know, out on the plantation.  Well, I say I, rather it was a household pet.  We killed it after it bit the legs off the gardener one afternoon - but I did touch it once when it was asleep).

Can I be with you again soon(ish)? And run my yearning fingers through your sweet-smelling hair? And caress your rosy cheek with my homonidean thumbs?  There’s an art show we should go to: I know, well, half know the artist, and doubtless we could get tickets to the opening night – champagne, caviar, the works!

Yours,

Norman

…gentle and kind.

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