There are moments in
life, wrote Gerald sorely at first, when
the universe appears to be taking the piss. Then Gerald paused, chewed the
end of his biro some, before deciding on mercilessly
taking the piss, and continuing.
Last night, wrote
Gerald, even as I thought I was as far
away from you as possible. ‘You’
referred to his ex-partner. Among friends
that hardly knew you. Gerald had
many friends that hardly knew him. There
you were.
One of Gerald’s friends had unknowingly shown him a short
film featuring a woman that almost in every way resembled his ex-partner.
My insides. Gerald paused again, he was searching for
dramatic effect. Resumed, My insides entirely rearranged themselves.
Then recalling the punch line to the short film, Gerald gulped. And my
heart nearly beat its last. But this,
even to Gerald sounded a little exaggerated, and so he scribbled out nearly beat its last and simply put contracted.
For, Gerald began
his next line, for I am bonded to you,
bonded is a good word, thought Gerald, with a Shakespearean ring, for I am bonded to you in love …
star-crossed? Star-crossed, Gerald
concluded. Though he was no Romeo.
Some things in life
are meant to be, Gerald now exclaimed, recognising the need to build to a
romantic crescendo, and our going together
through life, a Dylan reference, Gerald smiled to himself, is surely intended for us.
I love you, he added. I love you like …
And here reached a dilemma: Gerald needed to find the
right words at this point in his love letter that would on paper have the same
impact on his ex-partner as Lord Byron ripping off his chemise and bearing his breast to his lover; words that would
summon visions of vermillion skies, and a better future.
It was a tough one, and after a few minutes Gerald moseyed
off to make a cup of Earl Grey. Perhaps, he wondered, he would see destiny
in the tea leaves; or look out the kitchen window and spy his ex-partner, an
intergalactic Siamese dream, waiting for him under a street light below, to
whisk him away to another planet, or indeed, the next world.
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