Tuesday, 18 December 2012

a sixtieth story...'misery or something better'

Here’s an interesting story.  Or at least interesting to me because I was there, and now, a few days on, it strikes me as meaning something.  Something that might mean something to someone else; something, without wishing to sound too grand, about people in general.

Last weekend I was at my son’s Christmas school fair.  The school fair was taking place in the old covered market.  It was on the spot where the pet store used to be when I was young, with kittens and puppies in cages and so on.  There were perhaps ten, eleven trestle tables set out with things the kids had made – jams, cakes, clay pots, one kid had made a catapult.  What anyone else would consider bric a brac.

My son hadn’t really wanted to go, but his teacher insisted, and so did his mother – my wife, and so did I.  In the end the fair passed off just fine, no tears, tantrums, and most of the jams, cakes etcetera actually sold! 

It was when I and some of the other parents were helping pack away the various tables, chairs, surplus goods into cardboard boxes that this interesting thing happened.  My son was with me at the time, wrapping left over slices of rum cake in paper towels to go into the Tupperware my wife had supplied.

My wife.  I told her what I am about to tell you over dinner that night, when the kids were upstairs but she didn’t really take in the meaning of it – we had just had an argument about something else, probably my getting a new job with better working hours, and she was preoccupied with that.

So, this drunk comes up to me, or at least that was my first instinct – that he was a drunk I mean, smelly, perhaps threatening, you get the idea.  He’s around five feet six, seven, quite sturdy.  I’m six feet three, also quite sturdy, so I wasn’t intimidated, but I did have my son with me. Anyway, he’s wearing a blue bobble hat, a large backpack and he’s cradling a can of special brew in a brown paper bag.  ‘Merry Christmas’, he says to me in a thick voice.  ‘And to you’, I say, and go back to my packing, hoping my son hasn’t noticed and the drunk will leave us alone.

‘Merry Christmas’, I hear him say again, and then he says something about Whitney Houston.  Whitney Houston!  Still, I ignore him, continue packing.  Then my son speaks up, ‘Daddy’, he says, ‘I’m done’.  And he is, all the slices of rum cake are wrapped and tidily placed in the Tupperware, he’s also put the lid on.  ‘Good’ I say and sweep my son up in my arms, protectively I guess. 

Now, however, the drunk has latched on to me, he thinks in his addled mind that because I have stood up I am going to engage him.  Of course, I’ve other ideas, but I also know my wife won’t be here to pick us up for a half hour, and something in me tells me we’ll be stuck with the drunk until then.

My father always used to say to trust your first instinct.  He had this catch phrase, ‘the more you think the more you stink’.  But standing in front of this drunk, who had just wished me ‘Merry Christmas’, with my young son in my arms, I was torn between an immediate desire to tell him to clear off, and what I tried to suggest to my wife was some kind of innate compassion. 

Sure, I felt a bit sorry for him at that moment, but it was nothing like what I felt when he started telling me his story.

He was from Romania.  He had come over with his English wife to start their new life together, only for her to meet someone else, perhaps even someone like me, and tell this guy to get lost.  In between sips of his beer he told me how he was ‘finito’, ‘caput’ – I think that means finished in Romanian, I don’t know.  And that he had a broken heart.  Whitney Houston according to this guy also died of a broken heart.  He put a rose in the local church when he learned of her death, or so he said.  Lit a candle and all!

My first wife, I should mention at this point, left me out of the blue.  I remember for two, three years I felt bad, low, unable to move on.  Difference is, I had a job, money, and friends.  Perhaps in that order.

Because here’s what our conversation left me thinking - that people have to be useful human beings.

This Romanian, we chatted until my wife turned up, my son in my arms half listening.  He had been kicked out by his wife, lost his job at the same time, had been roaming the streets for a month, would spend Christmas doing the same thing.  He showed me some photos of his past life, a holiday he had been on to Venice, pictures of him standing on the steps of Santa Maria della Salute, sitting in a gondola, all of the touristy things.  He also told me he had been a soldier in Bosnia

When my wife finally arrived, she took my son and began packing things into the car.  I had a lump in my throat I have to admit.  I could see this proud man was helpless, heart broken, caput as he kept on saying.  I didn’t know what to do, how to be useful.  I tried to remember the name of a hostel  in town someone I knew had been involved with to tell him to go to, but couldn’t.  When it was time to leave, I gave him a note, told him to buy some dinner for the night.  After everything he had told me it felt like a token gesture.

And then, as I turned to leave, he asked me this.  He asked me what my telephone number was so we could talk again.  I knew this was impossible.  I knew my wife would be wary of someone who to her was a drunk – smelly, threatening – becoming involved in any way with us.  So I lied.  Said I didn’t have a telephone.  And we parted.

While my wife was cooking dinner over the gaslight stove later in the evening I realised why I had lied.  This man could not be of any use to me in my life.  And I could not really be any use to him, at least outside the old covered market with my young son in my arms, at least as things were.  We would not, perhaps never, be able to develop a mutual friendship, unless his misery turned to something better.

Or so it seemed then, and so it seems today.

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