She was trying to pour herself another glass of wine over by the drinks table and he knew this was his chance. She was struggling with the cork so he went up to her, squeezed her shoulders, spoke into her ear, and asked what the matter was. ‘I can’t uncork this wine’ she said, brushing a strand of hair away from her eyes. ‘I’ll do it’ he replied confidently, taking the bottle opener, sinking the screw into the cork and twisting. The cork came free more easily than he had expected and he handed her back the bottle. She was looking at him in that way. ’Well done’ she said smiling at him. He raised an eye brow and gestured with his hands, ’no problem’ he said.
As she was pouring herself a glass she asked if he was having fun. ’Yes, are you?’ he replied. ’Sort of’ she said, catching the drip from the bottle and sucking her finger. ’What’s the matter?’ he asked, inclining his head toward her. ’I’m OK’ she replied looking up at him, ’now let me pour you some wine’. ’Go for it’ he said and brushed another strand of hair away from her face. ’There you go’ she remarked when she was done, and they touched glasses and said ‘cheers’.
For a short while they stood looking across the makeshift dance floor before he suggested they go outside. She sipped her wine, ’outside?’. ’For a cigarette’ he elaborated. ’You don’t smoke’ she said bluntly. ’Let’s go anyway’ he persisted.
On the way out he found her coat and helped her put it on. ’I can do it’ she told him. Then they went and stood by the back entrance to the bar and she took a packet of matches from her coat pocket and two cigarettes. She offered him one, but he pushed her hand away. ’No’ he said. She had her back to the wall and he was facing her. She shrugged, struck a match and went to light the end of her cigarette. He blew out the flame. She frowned drunkenly and asked him what he was doing. There was a note of irritation in her voice but he chose to ignore it. He put his right hand on her shoulder and looked deep into her eyes. ’Kiss me’ he said. ’Kiss me?’ she repeated, incredulous. ’Kiss me’, he said again, determinedly. Inside the bar everybody cheered. ’We’re not doing this anymore’ she told him, but her hands remained at her side.
‘Look’ he began, ’I…I still’, he paused before finishing his sentence, ’what’s going on between us?’ he concluded. She blinked a couple of times and stared at him, a look of pain and confusion dawning on her face. ’Nothing’ she said, ’we’re friends aren’t we?’. He breathed in and swallowed. ’I’m confused about us’ he replied, ’I don’t know’. He’d been meaning to tell her for weeks, but now in the moment he felt silly - of course she didn‘t love him anymore. ’We’re friends’ she repeated quietly.
They were both silent, he bowed his head. ’I don’t know’ he repeated eventually, still looking at his shoes. ’We talked about this’ she said, her voice little more than a whisper, ’I told you I’ve made up my mind’. He pressed the heel of his hand against his forehead and met her gaze. ’Right’ he said and turned sideways to her, there were so many questions he wanted answering. ’So why…’ he began again. ’Why what?’ she asked pulling him back to face her. He sighed, there were voices at the door - soon they wouldn't be alone anymore. With the light and noise from the bar spilling out into the parking lot, she stood on her tip toes and kissed him quickly on the lips. But her kiss to him felt more like a kick in the teeth.
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